Don’t you think it’s funny to see how much time we spend looking forward to our twenties only to realize that life doesn’t feel like we expected it would once we reach that age?

It’s like we thought that entering this specific period of our life would suddenly turn us into mature grown-ups that finally have it all figured out and are now able to enjoy life to the fullest before we’re too old. Yet while this may actually be the case for some, my personal life experience has shown me that for a lot of us, myself included, what our twenties really come with are deeper issues and bigger challenges. We often hear people say that our twenties are the best years of our lives but knowing what I know now that I’m getting closer to my mid-thirties, I’d say that our twenties are in fact really just the years that are meant to shape us into our best, authentic selves. It’s a time for exploration, for discovering the essence of your being and your life’s purpose. It’s also a time for us, women of color, to acknowledge and overcome the traumas that we’ve suffered from all our lives by teaching ourselves and learning from our mistakes. Speaking of which, here are 5 lessons that I’ve learned from the biggest and most life-changing mistakes I’ve made during my twenties.

Live life on your own terms.

Specifically when it comes to religion. I’ve let so many people’s projections and opinions on how I worship God affect me. Somehow, I allowed myself to feel ashamed for not fitting other people’s narratives and their thoughts of what Jesus Christ would want or wouldn’t want me to do. However, with time, I came to realize that the ways that we decide to worship God—and the ways we decide to live our lives, period—don’t have to sit right with anybody else but ourselves. They don’t have to be based on what other people think we should do if that’s not what we want.

Do not talk about other people when they’re not in the room.

Disclosure: The gossip isn’t what connects you to another person.

Gossiping about other people, especially other women, when they’re not there doesn’t look good and isn’t what I consider supportive. Even if we absolutely do care about someone and the only reason we talk about them draws from a genuine concern, it just doesn’t look good nor does it feel good. I know that sometimes, engaging in gossip can be a way for us to feel connected to the people sitting next to us. We think that because we don’t partake in the conversation, it means that we, therefore, don’t belong in the room which ultimately makes us feel inadequate. But let me tell you an important thing; if gossiping is what you need to connect to another soul, believe me, you don’t want to be around that kind of low energy, neither do you want to end up embodying it. That’d be even worse than inadequacy.

Invest your money in your future, create generational wealth.

I wish I had all the knowledge that I have now about finances back when I was still in my twenties. One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made was to waste my money on social media trends and designer bags that I didn’t even like just so I could look as fabulous as the other women in the fashion and beauty industry did. I wasn’t aware how smarter it would’ve been to invest my money in my future and create generational wealth at the time if my ultimate goal was to retire early or help my children buy their first home, go to college, build their own business, etc. It’s important that we think long-term when it comes to money instead of settling for instant gratification.

In this video, you’ll hear more anecdotes related to those mistakes and also discover two more of these life-changing lessons.

Did you or do you ladies enjoy your twenties? What are the biggest lessons that you’ve learned during those years? What do you wish you were told that would’ve helped you navigate your twenties more easily? Tell me in a comment below or in the comments section of my video!

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