Duchess Kate’s morning sickness is back! She’s not back in the hospital (yet), but she’s so sick that William is now canceling his schedule so that he can stay at their Kensington Palace home and look after her. We already knew that Kate’s schedule was going to be very limited for the next few months (cough – YEARS), but it looks like William is going to be canceling appointments right and left too. Meanwhile, the Mail has a bunch of new stories about Will and Kate and what they’re going to be like as parents and how Kate managed to get knocked up at just the right time, etc. Some highlights:

*The Mail says Kate and William have decided to “break with royal tradition” and NOT employ a “full-time nanny”. They are said to be eager to “hands-on parents” although they will probably employ a “babysitter” or part-time help. A source says, “Catherine and William are determined to be hands-on parents. Her parents are very excited about the baby and will help out as much as possible. They will, probably, use a part-time nanny to help them out when they have to attend events and don’t have a babysitter, but they don’t want a full-time nanny.” I imagine this is going to be the same kind of deal as how they don’t have “any staff” helping them, except for all of the staff they employ but not technically because Charles is paying for them.

*Kate and William prepared for her pregnancy for months. Kate’s “last hurrah” was in June, when she was drinking champagne and dancing up a storm at a friend’s wedding. After that, Kate allegedly gave up alcohol and junk food – Kate has never been a “big drinker” (?) but apparently she loves pizza and sweets, and they were hard to give up. And if you believe that…

*Kate stopped going to the gym and stopped playing tennis, and focused on taking leisurely walks with the dog. According to the Mail, “She gave up her habit of smoking the occasional cigarette and stopped drinking coffee at the Starbucks she frequented near Kensington Palace, conveniently close to an expensive maternity-wear shop.” O RLY?!?! She was still smoking when those boob photos were taken in late August, just FYI.

*Kate and William also wanted to have their puppy Lupo for more than a year before giving birth so the dog wouldn’t see a baby as a “rival for attention.” That makes sense. Lupo is still going to get jelly though.

*Kate and William may skip Christmas as Sandringham so they can spend the holidays with Kate’s parents. A source says, “It is being discussed but has not yet been decided. Carole is keen for Kate to spend Christmas with the family. It will be their last Christmas at the family home before the Middletons move house.” Because Carole and Michael Middleton have bought (with their son-in-law’s help) a gigantic mansion. Anyway, the source goes on to say, “At home Kate will be able to relax and put her feet up. Christmas at Sandringham can be very busy and stressful with everyone arriving. There is always lots going on, big dinners and lots of outfit changes to contend with.”

*NO MORE LAVISH VACATIONS!! For now. Kate and William will not make their annual trip to Mustique, not will they make a ski trip to France. Because of Kate’s pregnancy. SOB.

*William’s tour of duty will either come to an end in February or August, depending on a lot of factors. Most people think that by February, William will be out. I say that it looks like he’s ALREADY out of the RAF, mostly because even the Mail says that William hasn’t accumulated enough on-the-job hours this year, what with all of the “royal work” (and by that I mean vacations). But! The RAF insists that William must give them six months’ notice, so even if he’s telling them now that he doesn’t want to stay, he could be there well into the spring or summer. I bet he finds a way to get around that, don’t you?

*Kate really wants to be in London, which is what I’ve always said: ‘They love Wales but William said that he and Kate will not be in Anglesey next spring… They are planning to move into KP in the summer and it is absolutely going to be their full-time home. Kate loves it there, she has the park and the shops. She is really excited about it. Princess Margaret’s apartment is the best in the palace and they are making it look fabulous. Kate really sees it as their family home. She will be pushing the pram in the gardens just like Diana used to do.’

*Kate is an interior decorator now, because an aide told the Mail “she is a keen interior designer and wants to be in charge of all the major decisions in redecorating the 21-room apartment… Kate loves design and she will take a hands-on approach to how she wants it to look.”

So, my take on this is basically that William and Kate are really, really prepared for the baby, at least as far as PR goes. They’ve been thinking up excuses for two years now, making plans and everything has been put into place. We’re now supposed to think that Kate and William are so, so normal and that they work so hard and they don’t even want to employ anyone to help because they’re just like you. Do you believe that?

Photos courtesy of WENN.